Stewarding Your Discontent
“When the Lord saw that Leah was not loved, he enabled her to conceive, but Rachel remained childless. Leah became pregnant and gave birth to a son. She named him Reuben, for she said, ‘It is because the Lord has seen my misery. Surely my husband will love me now.’”
- Genesis 29:31-32
If you read the entire passage above (beyond just the portion we can print in our format), you’ll notice that most of us work to meet our longings–for connection, for love, for affection–through the best means we know.
Humanity has the propensity to demand the best from life in both the meaningful and mundane. All around we are bombarded with pictures of what our life could be like if we just worked harder, slept less, did more; and in looking at these things, we often allow discontentment to rule our lives.
Towards the end of Genesis, we come upon the story of Leah, Jacob’s unloved wife. On the night of her sister’s wedding, Leah was given deceptively to Jacob in place of Rachel. Most people desire to be the aim of another’s affections. Yet Leah–having no say in her situation–was forced to marry a man who loved her sister. To say her arrangement is disappointing would be an understatement; yet she tried to love Jacob even when he loved Rachel more.
God saw Leah’s pain and blessed her by allowing her to bear sons. Leah believed that by offering Jacob sons she would win his affections. Instead, bearing children became her worth, so when she stopped bearing sons, she became discontent and insecure. Leah’s life became defined by her desire to satisfy her discontentment; her marriage was not what she hoped, and her relationship with her sister was strained. Each solution she tried only left her starving for affection.
When we allow our lives to be ruled by discontentment, we seek to resolve our discomfort through human means. God saw Leah in her circumstances, knew she was unloved, and wanted to provide a solution for her pain. In stewarding our discontent, we need to remember that we have a God who sees us in the midst of our pain. By casting discontentment on the Lord, we acknowledge that life is not what we expected, yet we believe that God will see us through.
I know that as you leave college, you may feel unprepared for your life ahead. You may feel disappointed or discontent with where you are in life. Remember, in those moments of uncertainty, you have a Father in heaven who seeks to provide for your every need. In studying the life of Leah, we see that feelings of discontent are nothing new to God. Even when life is out of control, we can choose to trust God to provide beyond what we can ask or imagine (Ephesians 3:20), and believe that He is working all things together for our good (Romans 8:28) even in the midst of our discontentment.
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Patrick McLeland works as an Area Coordinator over at Northwest University in Kirkland, WA. Patrick spent several years of his childhood in South Africa where his family served as missionaries. He attended CWC as a student at IWU, where he graduated with a Bachelor’s in Psychology with an Addictions Studies focus in 2015, followed by a Master’s in Student Development Administration in 2018.
In the past few years, Patrick has served as a camp director with SpringHill in Michigan. He looks fondly on his experience as a camp director as it, along with his student life experience and education, has prepared him for his present ministry within higher ed.